What It's Like To...

What It's Like To Walk Away From Being an NFL Quarterback

October 05, 2022 Season 4 Episode 2
What It's Like To...
What It's Like To Walk Away From Being an NFL Quarterback
Show Notes Transcript

Jake Locker was a 3-sport star athlete in high school (he was drafted to play Major League Baseball, but turned down the offer because he preferred playing football).  He was hailed as a hero when he played quarterback for the University of Washington.  He was picked by the Tennessee Titans in the first round of the NFL draft.  Four years later, he chose to leave the league... and lots of people had questions.  

In this episode of "What It's Like To..." we get the full story of what shaped Jake as a boy and as a young man, and what ultimately led him to make big decisions with certainty.  It's a story of football, fame, family and faith, and how one man found the right balance for his life.

In this episode:

  • Jake's early influences and childhood (01:55)
  • Why he made the decision to not sign the MLB contract (08:45)
  • Playing football at the University of Washington, and why he didn't enter the NFL draft after his junior year (11:26)
  • Healthy and unhealthy ways of dealing with pressure, stress, and expectations (17:28)
  • What it felt like to get drafted into the NFL (21:00)
  • Playing in college vs. playing in the NFL (23:56)
  • How Jake began to see his identity shift (29:37)
  • Thoughts on how the media portrayed him (34:04)
  • Does he still like football? (38:51)
  • How those closest to Jake responded to his decision to leave the NFL (42:03)


Want to know more about Jake?

  • check out his gym, Locker Room Fitness: lockerroomfitness.com


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Jake Locker  0:07  

There's so much I think that goes into it. You can simplify and put any narrative around it that you like, I think, if you want to from the outside, but the reality is, there's a lot more raw emotion that's tied to most people's decisions and those things and there is wisdom and thoughtful consideration.


Elizabeth  0:24  

Jake locker has made a few decisions over the years that have made headlines. He's a former college football star and NFL quarterback who surprised lots of fans with his choices throughout his career, including his decision to leave the pros after only four years. I'm Elizabeth Pearson, gar. And in this episode, we find out what it's like to walk away from being an NFL quarterback. Just to note, we had some technical issues during this interview. So the sound is a little wonky at times, but please stick with us. I think you'll be glad you did. Jake shares a lot of really personal stories and insights. 


Elizabeth

I'm so happy that you made the time I really appreciate it. 


Jake

I’m excited about it. 


Elizabeth

Well, should we just dive right in? 


Jake

I love it. 


Elizabeth

Okay. Well, I feel like that, you know, million dollar question everybody asks you, the big headline is, Why would you leave the NFL and all the glory and all the fame and all the money? But I don't want to start there. Because I feel like that probably has a lot of layers to it, it's probably a pretty complex answer, and is probably going to, like reveal itself through the course of our conversation anyway, so I'm kind of interested in going back and learning a little bit about the people who really influenced you a lot growing up. If it was parents, grandparents, some coaches or teachers like Who are some of the people who really made you who you are?


Jake Locker  1:50  

Yeah, that's a great question. And I thought you're gonna start with the question you're gonna ask that most people do. But I think it obviously shows why your podcasts a little bit different. And you have some wisdom that you're gonna operate in, because I think you hit the nail on the head. Thank you. Yeah, so for me, I'd say, in different ways. And I think through different seasons, and two different capacities, all all of the areas that she touched on, I'd say that, that I can look back and go, I had a wonderful family structure. So mom and dad that were extremely present in my life, extremely supportive. But at the same time, they set high standards for us. And there was things that some of my friends could do that we couldn't do. And there was clear expectations and our family, our parents, were constantly stewarding us in what it means to be a community member. You know, they didn't use that language. But I look back on it now as a parent myself with like, kindness towards other people, and using your manners and general respect. And those are big things in our home.


Elizabeth  2:45  

Community member as a kid, you don't really know what that means. But they were just modeling it, probably expecting it of you.


Jake Locker  2:51  

Exactly. They're modeling it and pushing us into it, I think those are the two things that I look back and go, my parents wanted, they knew they were being intentional or not, or if it's just what they saw. So it's what they encouraged us to, but it was clear in our family that we're going to be a part of our community, and that we were out of line when we looked at ourselves as greater than the community. And I think that was two things that I look at a lot of the experiences that we had with my mom and dad and my sisters included. And I think that was probably a big part of what we learned.


Elizabeth  3:18  

Has it influenced how you parent


Jake Locker  3:21  

100% 100% I think that my wife and I had talked about all the time and I actually used the language with my children, doing our best to try and help them understand that I think in a world that constantly is going to tell you, you're more important than the whole. I totally disagree with that. And I think it's detrimental not only to the individual, but definitely to the communities with which they function. And I think it's why we have so much dissension and division right now is because we're all told to look out for ourselves. And that's not the committee that we were designed to live in. It's not a world that brings peace and unity. It's a world that breeds division and dissent. Children were their selfish emotions, you can see it, I'm that same person, I just learned how to hide it from people, you know, in creative ways. As adults, we just have learned to mask it better. So I think that through parenting, it's actually allowed my wife and I, to individually kind of go into deeper depths of what that looks like to be a community member as well. But yeah, I'd say further than that. Look at my grandparents, both my grandparents were married 16 plus years. And so you know, it started like marriage being valued marriage being fought for marriage being important. That was modeled throughout my family, and I'm thankful for that not perfect. Yeah, nothing's perfect, perfect. It's not without its challenges, but it was lasting was lasting relationships, which are surrounded by as a kid and my family. And we were really close with our family. So we were always at my aunts and uncles places I can remember going to games and I had one of the biggest cheering sections that most games and it was my family, like primarily my family, between my mom and dad and sisters and then my aunts and uncles and cousins and grandma and grandpa like it was huge and it was my family and so yeah, really strong. Long family structure definitely is a real blessing that I got to grow up in in a moment. And I'm thankful for that.


Elizabeth  5:06  

Those marriages that lasted so long relationships require time and effort to they don't just happen. I was thinking towards the big question you always get asked, you know, you can't ignore things like relationships and expect them to be strong.


Jake Locker  5:21  

Yeah, definitely, I think that was, again, things that subtly were built in, like we had rules like you couldn't spend a friend's house two nights in a row on the weekend. So you can be gone Friday and Saturday night. And every Sunday, we had a family game night. And so if you got invited to do something, you just knew Sunday night was off limits. And there was these things that were built in, that were intentionally built into kind of like our family structure that, I think subconsciously helped us to learn that, yeah, the way you get deep in real relationships and spending time with people. And somehow I was reading recently, this quote, and I thought it was just wonderful. The people that you're closest with are the people that you get bored with, when you get bored with people, you build bonds with people that you don't, when it's always around an event or around something, that thing needs to be a part of it for your relationship to sustain where the people that you just sit with and have no plan that people that you just spend time with, and you creatively come up with something to do. Those are the people that you have the deepest relationships with, because you are going to talk about things that you don't talk about with other people. And so yeah, I look back at my childhood. And those are things that I remember, same thing with, like, my cousin's really close to my cousins, and they were in a same age as me, and they played athletics, and we were best friends. And most of the time was like, going to Grandma's grandpa's. And we'd go out in the yard, and it's like making up a game. It's like making up a football game, making up a baseball game and just playing for hours. And we're just making things up, like different variations of like pickle, and to on to football, and three on to football and legs, all kinds of stuff. And that's kind of what childhood was like, for me.


Elizabeth  6:52  

Sounds pretty great. So did you feel– I know you are naturally gifted athlete. But did you feel pressure to excel in organized sports too? Or is that just something that you wanted to do came easily to you and you love doing it?


Jake Locker  7:07  

Oh, definitely loved doing, I never felt like I was forced to do anything. Now. I think the older I got, and the more that the ability that I had was on display, I definitely started to kind of transition into a place where I felt pressure. I always loved playing, it was always my choice to play. But I think the pressure increase to perform and what that performance looks like, undoubtedly, but it was just something that I think I was projecting on myself because I misunderstood my identity at that point in my life. And so I was serving that which I thought was my identity. I played because it was fun. I played because as a kid, free time, I chose to play sport. That was fun. For me. That was what I enjoy, presents you with my cousins and I get home from school and my daddy get home from work. And I know that when you pitch to me or when you play catch with me and I I was doing that because that was fun for me, because I really truly enjoyed doing that. So I never, never got to the point where it wasn't fun to play. I always enjoyed playing it was always fun to play. I think as I got older and more conscious of circumstances, I think the pressure to perform became different rather than you still enjoyed playing. I still got excited about playing. There was never a time where I didn't want to play. I just felt pressured that I didn't when I was younger.


Elizabeth  8:23  

Yeah, well, I'm sure the expectations get a lot higher. Yeah, the more that you get. I mean, you were a three sport athlete in high school. Is that right? And then I know you were drafted into the majors for baseball, and then you turn that down to pursue college football at University of Washington. Yep. And was that just because you love football a lot more than baseball, or? That was one of your first big decision. It


Jake Locker  8:45  

was? Yeah, it was 17 years old. Actually. I can remember being upstairs, I was a little computer area right next to my parents room. And there's our one computer in the house and dad was there. And we were having a conversation with him about it actually right there at that spot. And I can remember him saying, you know, Jake, if you chose to do this, what they're telling you is, you know, you'd sign your name on a piece of paper. And in one day, you'll earn more money than, than I've learned in my lifetime to this point. And, and I think that was just my dad's way of being like, Hey, you're 17 I want you to understand the magnitude of the decision that you're making. I truly don't believe it was to sway me either way. I think it was just a father saying like, you need to know and understand everything that's going into this. And you know, at that point, I can honestly, me in my head, I was just like, well shoot, I don't want to play baseball for months of the year like three months is great, but it's a boring game to me. for that long. I get tired of playing it. And I'm like, I love football. I love I love the contact and I love the physical aspect. And baseball didn't have that. And so it was a pretty easy decision for me because I really truly enjoyed playing football and I was getting the chance to play it at the highest level that I could at that point and that was exciting for me.


Elizabeth  10:00  

So you were you weren't swayed by the money. If


Jake Locker  10:02  

I'm being totally honest, I think at times, it's like, oh, that was such a wise or what you know. And I don't think of it that way to be honest with you, because like, I didn't even really truly consider it from that perspective. It wasn't ever about that. It was just about being a 17 year old kid being like, Man, I enjoy playing football more than I do baseball. And I think partly not understanding financial realities. We didn't grow up in a family that had a lot of money, but we'd never needed for anything. And so you know, I just, I don't know, I think a combination of all of those things. I felt at times people wanted to make that out to be like, Oh, you were so mature. And to turn that down. And I don't look at it that way. Because I didn't feel like that was it at all? It wasn't, it wasn't because of a maturity level. For me, really, it was just what I enjoyed doing no different than, you know, a kid choosing to play with one toy over another toy. It's like, well, he likes that toy better. You know, I think that that's honestly how I looked at it.


Elizabeth  10:56  

And then fast forward a few years, you can correct me if I'm wrong, because I understand it. So you were quarterback for the Washington Huskies. And then after your junior year, you were projected to be maybe even the number one pick in the NFL Draft? And then you decided to stay for your senior year. And that was what kind of went behind that because that's a bunch of dollar signs also, being past that. But I guess given your history, that's not your driving force. So is it just that you wanted to play your senior year and get your degree?


Jake Locker  11:26  

Yeah, I mean, I'm not. I think at the time I said it was about school. And that's, that was a lie as a complete lie. I went to I went to college only because I was playing football. And I went to class only because I needed to stay eligible. If I'm being totally honest. We love honesty, that's awesome. Not that I don't value your college education. It just that's not what I would have chose to do had I not had the opportunity to play. I didn't go to college, because I wanted to get a diploma. I wanted to play football. And so I think the driving force for me was, to be honest, I felt like if I had left, I would have always wondered what we could have accomplished our senior year just with a group of guys that we hadn't the direction we were going, I think when I decided to go to the University of Washington, I began to understand the history and kind of where we were at that point in history. And personally, and collectively, I think there was spoken and unspoken goals are like, man, we want to be part of the group that helps turn this back into a program that Seattle's excited about the schools excited about that, you know, has the opportunity to compete against the best teams in the country and has a chance to win. And we weren't there. I think as much as anything that was probably the driving force was some stubbornness and a desire to see the things that you thought you'd be a part of come to fruition. And honestly, we hadn't got to see that yet. We're still five and seven, we missed a bowl game, we've never been to a bowl game, we've been like 10 years, two years before, we've been only 12. I think as an athlete, as I reflect on, I was driven a lot by the fear of failure. I think it was one of the greatest driving forces for me as an athlete to work hard and to compete. And you know, I think I was afraid to fail. I didn't like failing. You know, I think it's so funny. They asked the question, do you like winning more? Do you hate losing more, and I was always somebody that hated losing more like I hated losing. And so I wanted to do whatever I could not to lose. And that was real for me. I don't know whether it's right or wrong. I don't know. That was


Elizabeth  13:30  

common. I've talked to a few athletes. And everybody says that.


Jake Locker  13:33  

Yeah. And so I think in that is probably the similar emotions to coming back was like, Man, I felt like I was failing. If I were to leave at that point. I felt like I personally in my own heart, and not even verbalized to anybody. But what I had hoped to be a part of, I wasn't. And I felt in a lot of ways, like if I would have left I was a failure. And then I'll be honest to I felt like in a lot of ways I was getting to play under a coach and in the system that was actually preparing me to play at that next level, I started to see what that was like. And I knew I wasn't ready, I knew that I needed another year of playing an offense like they were going to put us in and having the responsibilities of the position that I played that they were giving me those things were still a challenge for me reading defenses and and correcting protections and making audibles like those things were all new to me, and I was still learning them. And I knew that I knew that and I knew that. There's so much I think that goes into it. You can simplify and put any narrative around it that you'd like I think, if you if you want to from the outside, but the reality is, is there's a lot more raw emotion that's tied to most people's decisions and those things and there is wisdom and thoughtful consideration. And in so many ways. I look back on that. And that's like, man, it wasn't because I was being extremely thoughtful. And I was considering money and I wasn't I wasn't and I think it was because all these other things mattered to me more like that. I didn't want to be seen as a failure that matter deeply to me. And I personally felt like I would have been had I left. And I think that that was a great motivator for me.


Elizabeth  15:11  

You mentioned earlier about, there's more expectation on performance. And you did help turn that program around and you guys went to a ball game, and you were really kind of held in Seattle? Did that feel great? Or did that feel like the expectation felt a little daunting?


Jake Locker  15:27  

No, I think I think I said it publicly quite a bit. But it was really the the internal reality that's like, everybody else can have expectations, but my expectations are greater than theirs are. And I always felt that way. It's like, yeah, you may want this, but I want something a lot more than you want. And I was in a position that I was going to be the one that could put in the work and put in the time, not to make that outcome a reality, but to influence whether it had the possibility to be or not more than most people that were putting any kind of expectation on me as well. And so, of course, there's pressure, I think anybody that plays athletics on the stage that our country puts athletics on, if they say they don't feel pressure when they compete, I think they're lying personally, and maybe not, I don't know, that's, I shouldn't, I guess, project them on with people. But I never competed without pressure. I'll put it that way. Once I got to college, once a high school college, like, there was never a time when I didn't feel pressure. I don't think pressure is a bad thing. I think how you relate to it can be wonderful, or extremely destructive, depending upon, you know where you're at, personally. But yeah, I always felt pressure. So I don't think that changed it. I can remember when I had committed to go to the University of Washington, the headline in the Seattle Times, the next day was a picture of me with in huge bold letters, the word Savior at the top of the page. And I can remember that, and, you know, now where I sit now, and kind of some of the understanding I have of the meanings that that name carries, and who is connected to primarily, I didn't understand it at that point to the degree that I do now. But I understood it well enough to know, like, wow, people are expecting a lot of things from me. So I knew that. Yeah, I always knew that.


Elizabeth  17:10  

So how did you deal with that? The mental side of it. Not every game goes great for anybody, not even that hall of famers in any sport. And so there's these expectations of you, you're in the marquee position, and how would you deal with the mental side of it?


Jake Locker  17:28  

I think probably healthy and unhealthy outlets, I think healthy outlets would have been working extremely hard to the things I could control. And I knew that was an outlet for me. So like, the weight room when working out was a big thing for me. And it's because I can somewhat control outcomes in that space, right. And a lot of it was tied to the time and effort that I put in. And so I spent a lot of time there. I realized when I was in high school, and I also had a dad that really helped me to see this from a very young age, he coached me a lot. And he'd always be like, Hey, I'm gonna be harder on you than everybody else for two reasons. One, because you're my son, and two, because you're the best player. And he didn't say that arrogantly, and I don't think he wanted me to receive it. arrogantly, I think he just, you know, was a dad that was looking at it going like, Hey, I've been around sports. And inevitably, the group, a lot of times will model and resemble their best players. And so I think it was his way of saying, like, whether you like it or not, you have a leadership responsibility, because of the talent that you


Elizabeth  18:32  

have. You're a role model for the rest of the team, whether you like


Jake Locker  18:36  

100%. And if you're choosing to play sports, they're going to follow you, they're going to go as you go, they're going to do what you do, what you get away with, they're going to expect to get away with, essentially, the standard that you set for yourself will rub off on those around you. And he's always very intentional about talking to me about that. And I look back, and I was really thankful for that. Because coming into the position that I did come into, it's an expected reality, just with that position. And so I felt like, I'd spent a lot of my life being encouraged and instructed how to walk through that, how to steward that, well, what that looked like, how not to separate yourself from people, but how to infuse yourself into the lives of those around you so that they can go somewhere maybe that they didn't think they could go and like learning these kinds of things, I think at a young age was helpful for me in that role. And so those are the two areas I think the way that I dealt with it in a healthy way was my personal work ethic. And it's like, you know what, I'm gonna set a standard here for me that isn't necessarily compared to anybody else, but it's like I'm going to do everything that I possibly can. And then the other aspect was spend time and be really intentional about relationships within that space because that's going to be just as important as the other aspect. And so I think those are the two healthy ways, but also dealt with in an unhealthy ways. I also got to college and I didn't drink or you doing that kind of stuff when I was in high school, I didn't my first year in college. And then after that I started to and that became a really unhealthy outlet for me where I could drink and I could drink to the point where I'd get drunk. And it allowed me to escape those expectations, because I had an excuse. Well, I was, I was drunk. And so I could be somebody that didn't have to be who everybody else wanted me to be. And I had an excuse, because it wasn't really me, it was the drunk version of me, I could be somebody that could make a mistake. And I could be somebody that could, you know, be wild. And I could do all of these things. And I didn't have to feel like I had the pressure to be whoever. And I can escape it for a little bit. And that became a definite coping mechanism for me when I was in college and kind of continued into my first year in the NFL as well.


Elizabeth  20:51  

I'll be interested to hear how that turned around. But I wanted to make this jump into the NFL. So after you graduated, you were drafted in the first round. So still, the expectations are high for you. How'd that feel to get drafted? I imagined the NFL was probably a dream of yours. Since you were playing sports since you were a kid. I mean, did it just feel like, wow, I've reached the mountaintop like I did it? Or was it for yourself? Did you feel like this was always my expectation of myself? This is the logical next step.


Jake Locker  21:21  

You know, I think it's really interesting. That's a great question. And to be totally honest, I don't remember. I don't remember what I felt like at that moment. I don't remember. I think I can recall times in my life, like a little thing when I was in kindergarten, what do you want to be when you grow up? It's like, oh, I want to be a professional football player. And so it's like, I can see that I had those dreams from a young age. But then I can also very clearly remember, like, we never went to like Seahawks games, or University of Washington games. Growing up, we went to Friday night for no high school football games. And I can remember thinking like, Man, if I could play there, that would be like, That's, yeah, that's a big deal. And I can remember in high school and coach called me and he's like, Hey, you got a letter from the Washington State. And it was a, hey, we're offering you a scholarship. And I'm like, what I can remember in that moment, being like, I never even considered this as like, I can go play in college as an option. And then think of it that was just something I was playing, and I enjoyed doing. And that was the extent of it for me. So I think to honestly answer that question. At that moment, I don't think I could honestly tell you like, oh, it felt like I had made it or not expected to be there. And I had, you know, I think it was a mixed emotions. It was like, yeah, it was excited to hear your name called and, you know, eighth overall, it was like, wow, yeah, that was, uh, that was a big, exciting moment. There was an exciting moment,


Elizabeth  22:46  

something that most people will just never experience. Yeah.


Jake Locker  22:50  

And I understood that I understood that it was like, this was a really unique opportunity. And you're lucky, you're very lucky to be able to have this experience, too. I understood that I understood that very clearly. At the same time, I think that I had played competitive sport long enough to know that, yeah, that's great. But you're only as good as the last time that you perform. So that's awesome that you got drafted eight. But essentially, that's just kind of the springboard to now go prove that you were worthy of that.


Elizabeth  23:19  

It's not a trophy that then you go put on yourself. This is exactly winning. Yeah, it is


Jake Locker  23:23  

100%. The more you think about and consider competitive sport, I think that's always the reality, no matter how accomplished you are, or how successful you are. There's another season that starts the next year. And I think that working through that, is this as much a part of that mental journey as anything.


Elizabeth  23:42  

So did it feel like a huge step up playing in the NFL from your college days? Was the game more complex? Are the people bigger? Or the pressure greater? Or was it? Was it just kind of a natural evolution?


Jake Locker  23:56  

No, I think all the above everything you did on it felt that way. The game was fast, it was so fast. It's the best athletes at their respective positions in the world that you're playing against. And you're playing with. And it's unique. It's extremely unique. And you've experienced that every day. And then the more time you spend with it, it becomes normal, and you start to adjust to it not fully or completely and perfectly, but it's not as surprising as it was at first. It's your job to you know, wages tied to it. And with that comes expectations of time and commitment and understanding and serving your role. And, and those things were all they weren't new college football.


Elizabeth  24:36  

The job at that level. Yeah, there's just one. Yeah.


Jake Locker  24:40  

100% too often. I think people are like, oh, you know, they're students like yeah, now they're full time employees of the school. And they just happen to go to school full time like everybody else to when you're running out in front of 70,000 people every Saturday for 13 weeks in a row and the whole school and the whole city is coming to watch. I mean, you're on television Do your math exam might take a backseat to that. So you got a little bit of a taste of it, but it's different, you know, the expectation becomes greater, and the time becomes greater. And it's very clearly understood as you're wanting on the road. And at that point,


Elizabeth  25:15  

did the kind of brotherhood for lack of a better word feel different from the college team to the pro team? Or did you feel like you were able to bond in the same ways and support each other in the same way as at the pro level,


Jake Locker  25:28  

not in the same way. So I wouldn't say that it was any less necessary, it's just different, it was very different. For me walking into the college football locker room, we primarily had young men that were in the same stage of life, coming from different backgrounds. And so I think that adds some nuance to it, for sure. But primarily, we're all kind of going through the same things at the same stages, interested in the same things or similar things, to really kind of this young man trying to figure out what what it is to be a man and we're all kind of in that space at that point, where, you know, walking into an NFL locker room is totally different. I walk in as a 23 year old with 34 year old teammates that have three, four grown kids that are in middle school, and, and it's like, that's a completely different reality, right? Like, our lives aren't going to look the same, just because they can't Yeah, we're just at different points in our life. So I think in that way, it does differ. Obviously, you're not spending as much time outside of just the sport with each other. But I think there's something really unique, really cool about sport that does bring people together around a common goal and better than most other places in our communities, I think it's one of the really beautiful things about sport, is you get a collective whole of people that are from all kinds of different spaces and places and cultures and communities and, and races and ethnicities, and they all come together. And there's a common goal. And that common goal is pretty clearly understood. And there's a standard that everybody collectively sees. That's the same. And I think that's really unique about sport. As a player, I think that that influences the relational experience, because you may have all kinds of differences with these guys. But you have one thing in common, and it will be hard to argue that that one thing wasn't one of the most important things in everybody's life at that time. And so I think from that perspective, you still build really cool and unique relationships, because that's one thing, sport really offers that I think, like I said, it's totally unique. Because there's pressure, there is expectation, all those things are a part of it, and everybody feels it collectively. And so it's like you do have this inner group that you know, can relate to those things that you know, understands those things that you know, is going through the same thing as you are. And that's unique to almost anybody else that you're around. Because you can have great friends, but they can't understand what that feels like.


Elizabeth  27:49  

Yeah, other people in other jobs, have performance goals they have to meet, but they're not being judged on winning and losing every week.


Jake Locker  27:59  

Those performance goals aren't going to be televised on national on ESPN on SportsCenter for different times of the day. So analysts. Yeah, totally. So I think that's, and you all inherently understand that inside the locker room, I think.


Elizabeth  28:15  

Did you have any mentors or people that kind of helped you when you were a rookie and your first years people helped you learn the ropes?


Jake Locker  28:23  

Yeah, definitely. You know, I got to be in a room with Matt Hasselbeck. He came from Seattle. And you know, I think it was like his 14th year in the league at that point. And so yeah, he was a great influence on me got to be in the same quarterback room with rusty Smith, who's still one of my closest friends to this day. And then I got to play with, you know, like Ryan Fitzpatrick. And that was a really fun, unique experience for me as well. I got to play with Charlie Whitehurst. And so I got to play with these guys have been around the game for a while, and been in different places and experienced it from different perspectives and in different organizations and get to see how they coat the healthy and unhealthy outlets they used for some of the expectations that they had.


Elizabeth  29:03  

So you mentioned Matt Hasselbeck, I read an article in Sports Illustrated, I thought this was a really interesting quote. So I want to get your feedback on it. So this is Matt Hasselbeck saying, Every coach I ever played for says these are the priorities, faith, family football, but no one really lives that way. No one. But then he went on to say that you Jake locker actually did live that way. So I was just curious, your thoughts on that quote, and kind of went in you made yourself decide to have those priorities and live them out?


Jake Locker  29:37  

Yeah. You know, it's funny that Matt would say that. Matt and his wife invited us to this conference, actually, after our first year, my wife and I got baptized and that is a Christian conference. We got baptized at the conference and gave our lives to the Lord at that point. And then you know, I've been faithfully seeking Him and learning what it looks like to walk with him. Since then, and It's been an imperfect journey as it is for all of us. But it's been a, it's been a wonderful one one that I wouldn't trade for anything. And so I think at that point in my career, we were at the conference, my wife was pregnant with our first child, my daughter Colby, the worship leader kind of shared their story a little bit, who worship leader McCray, Christian rapper, and he talked about how for him, when he essentially surrendered his life, to seek and follow the Lord and to trust him rather than himself. He said, You know, I realized I was living two lives. And he kind of just shared how he came to the understanding that your life isn't your own, whether you are following Jesus or not. Because when you're not, you have all these other idols. So he's like, it's drugs, or it's music, or it's fame. He's like, and I'm worshiping all these things, because I'd become their servant, I'd become their slave. And I felt like he was talking to me, I felt like I was the only one in the room. I heard that I'm like, Yeah, I'm not following Jesus. He's not the Lord of my life. And I'm doing it because I think that that gives me control over my life. And yet, I see that I have these other idols that they have complete control over my life, and I'm serving them. My identity is found, as Jake locker the football player, and thus I am doing whatever I can to serve that identity. And so I'm a slave to that identity. I'm a slave to that title. It's my master. And I begin to see that, and when I did, then, I just found freedom in the pursuit of Christ to set me free from obligation to those things. And I think that's where things changed. And, and that was something that Matt, really encouraged and model really well. So did rusty for me in my first year. So yeah, super grateful for the role that he served in multiple ways, multiple facets, his wife as well, with my wife, for me, personally, I had a really hard time being in that reality, and not being consumed by that reality. So I had a really hard time increasingly of playing the game, and yet not being my idol. Like, how do I do that? How do I do that? Well, how do I compete in the way that I want to, to the level that I'd like to, to honestly, to the level that I feel I owe those around me to compete to win isn't my first priority, how to do that? How does that play?


Elizabeth  32:30  

I mean, that had been your entire life, right? I mean, it's hard to just switch that anything really quickly. And your whole life had been growing into this and getting more notoriety and success. And so no wonder that you couldn't just immediately say, oh, I can hold these two things equally. That's a real transition.


Jake Locker  32:49  

It is 100%. And so I think that, for me, that's, that really was the beginning of the next three years of my life, and what that looked like, and ultimately, the point in my career that a lot of people would point to, but that was a process. There was so much involved in that. And I think that if I'm being honest, I look at it for me and my heart, the Lord was helping me find freedom from something that I was going to be a slave to the rest of my life if if he didn't come in


Elizabeth  33:22  

early football, but it was more the success and the notoriety.


Jake Locker  33:26  

Yeah, definitely. And it was football at that moment. Because that's, that's where I primarily saw myself finding it or fulfilling it. Right. But yeah, I mean, I look at it now. And you're, you're exactly right. I think that, if that doesn't happen in my life, then who knows how long you're playing for, but you're always chasing that affirmation within that space, until you're told you can't anymore, right, because that inevitably come for all of us at some point. If that's that idol, or that master in my life, then it's just going to be parlayed into the next thing. And so whatever it is, then in that next space, you're going to be chasing that same affirmation from the fulfillment of that role that you're serving.


Elizabeth  34:04  

You know, I find it so interesting. I'm sure you live with this through your years of college fame, and being in the NFL and all that, but just media scrutiny and articles probably written about you or about your team or something that you think this isn't quite it. You know, this is your take on it. But as I was researching, preparing for this interview, one article that I read, there's just this, he probably retired early or stopped playing football, how it was phrased in the media, because he had some injuries, and then I'm talking to you and it's a completely different journey. It's an internal journey. It's a spiritual journey. It's so complex and layered, and to have something just reduced into some simplistic thing, and then other people just speculating on your life. Did that feel strange or reductive or off putting to you to have people question your decision?


Jake Locker  34:58  

Oh, 100% I think that It Be careful how I say this, I guess. But I had a really hard time with media while I played. And I'll be totally honest. And I think that I can say this. And it's not connected to any individual. But I, I can remember having conversations with our media director and being like, Look, man, hey, you got to interact a little bit more. And I'm like, No, I don't want to. I'm gonna give them the same short answers, because all they're trying to do is get people to read the paper. It's like, they don't really care. And that was my perspective, maybe I'm wrong. And I think that that's a blanket statement. And this is me expressing where I felt like I was in the pet space that I wasn't sure. But I did. I think 1718 years old, you have these people that are projecting your thoughts to all these people that are reading and you're reading it going, like, that's completely untrue. And they didn't even talk to me. And they don't know me, they know who I am. They never cared to get to know who I am.


Elizabeth  35:55  

Well, I can tell you just I worked in local TV news for a bit. So from the other side, and it is true, what you're saying, our job, I didn't work in sports, but was to go out and you need to get sound bites, and you need to make a short story. And so there's no room for context. And I'm not excusing the genre or something. But it's one reason I really like podcasting is because you can have a longer time to actually have conversations and actually get in to some of the detail and give some of the background and all of that it's not just a soundbite or a headline world.


Jake Locker  36:27  

Yeah, no doubt, you know, at the same time, like, I've heard and received the argument on the other side of this, like, well, then the athlete, me, I have to be open to extending myself to people for those periods of time, so that they have the capacity to receiving that. And I understand that. And I think the reality of it is, you just don't have the time to do that. There's just not time for that. If you're somebody that's in that space that's dedicated to it, you have a family. And so I think a lot of it comes back to the fact that athletics is the Colosseum. Right, wrong or indifferent. There's so many good things about it, I think there's so many things that are really difficult about it. You know, I love it. I love sport, I love what it offers and what it brings to our communities. I just think that it's really important, I will take the opportunity for fans, viewers, anybody just to never forget that those people are human beings. And yeah, they have they have a gift, but sort of you so is everybody. And our gifts are just different. And the gift they've been given for some reason is culturally put on a pedestal. But you know, we're going through a lot of the same emotions that everybody else is going through, we're trying to learn and experience life, just like everybody else is doing it. We just don't have a lot of times the freedom to do it privately, it's public. And so when we screw up, you all know about it, when we're less than what we would like to be you all know about it. And so I think it's important to know and to remember, and to realize that the men and women that are competing athletics, they're, they're not doing that, because they have to be we love it, we enjoy doing it. But at the same time, just because we do and because it's played on a stage doesn't mean that we get to deal with them. As like a separate set of human beings. There's only one difference, and it's the shows to give you speed or height or strength, like you know, that's it. That's it. And those are all gifts that will lose at some point too. And so whatever. Yeah.


Elizabeth  38:29  

So you did decide to end your NFL career much earlier than a lot of people would have expected. And you could have made a lot more money, but you didn't. And so, when you made that decision, I'm curious how you felt? Did it feel like a weight off your shoulders? Or was it a sadness, or was it relief?


Jake Locker  38:51  

Um, yeah, to label it with any single emotion will probably be inaccurate. It was all the things that you said. Like I said, I still love the game. You know, this weekend was the first week in college football in the NFL, and I watched games. I love the game. I love it. I went to a high school game on Saturday and watch college games on Saturday and watch the NFL again. Like I love football.


Elizabeth  39:13  

It's fun for you watch it. thing like, Oh, I wish I could.


Jake Locker  39:18  

Definitely. And I think there was times that that I had that. Especially, you know, right on the heels of it. Being like, Man, I physically I know. I can still do it mentally. I know, I could still do it. Yeah, I mean, I'd be lying if I told you I didn't have those moments. But I think I'd also be lying to you. If I told you that that drew me to a place where I second guessed or was dissatisfied with where my life is now. And that's not the case at all. I'm grateful for my life as I'm grateful for what I'm getting to be involved in and engaged in. Do I miss the game? Okay, I missed the game. That was a unique experience. And there's not a whole lot of other things that mimic that experience. What I trade it for the things that I'm getting to engage in my life right now. No, I wouldn't do I'm very much at a place where I'm thankful for the time that I got grateful for the people that I got to be with grateful for sport in and of itself, value it think that it's a wonderful space, but also look at it through a different lens like with our children. And I find it challenging to try and find that healthy balance of what it looks like, where it's something you get to do. And it's a sport created for fun and play. But the reality that there is expectation there is pressure. And that's not bad inherently. But when it becomes the main thing it can be. And so how do you, Steward your children through that? How do you steward young athletes do that? I don't have the answers to that. I know the framework that you can work from that allows you to begin to understand how you could walk through that. But I don't know if there's one like model, we're right where we're supposed to be when we're in that tension. And to remove ourselves from that tension is to go too far on one side, or the other, is the right thing, just to not play sports at all. I don't think that's the right thing, is the right thing, just to go all in and make it King. I don't think that's the right thing, either. And so you have to then live in this really difficult tension that changes and shifts, and there's probably going to be different for each child. It's in that tension that realize that I can't satisfy on my own. I don't have the answers for my kids. And I'm not the answer. And that's a really healthy place for me.


Elizabeth  41:35  

So is that kind of, in a nutshell, the journey that you took over those three years of your final football career was just this exploration of, how do I want my life to look? And what should this balance be for me? And what am I putting as my idol? And then you finally came to this decision? Yeah. I was curious about people closest to you what their reaction was when you did decide to end your career?


Jake Locker  42:03  

Yeah, you know, I think that I always had people that were in it, not because of what I could do, but because of who I was, from the time I was a kid. And so I always, I always knew that the people closest to me, whether they understood it, or whether they agreed with it, they would never going to project that onto me. They loved me, they cared about me. And ultimately, they understood that it wasn't their decision. And I think that they all respected that. And so I can honestly tell you that, I don't know, I didn't have a ton of people really close to me voicing their opinion other than, Hey, we love you, and we're going to be a part of your life, whether you're playing or not. And so that's what I experienced. I think more from the peripheral. I heard like, Oh, you're so stupid, or Oh, that's a great decision. You know, it's like, everything all over the board. So and but to be


Elizabeth  42:50  

honest, I projected their own cells into you. They wish they had the opportunity.


Jake Locker  42:55  

At the end of the day, I was really out of place in my life. At that point, then we're, I was okay with that. I understood that making that decision wasn't going to be a private one. It was a public one. I knew that I understood that I understood people have their varying opinions. I understood I'd have some people that agreed with me, some people that didn't, I understood that I'd have some people that would totally misunderstand it, that would paint it for something that it wasn't I understood all of those things. I think I'd experienced enough to that point to know that. And so that didn't have too bad of an effect on me, just because it's kind of what I expected.


Elizabeth  43:28  

So can you just walk me through kind of a typical day now? Do you feel like you've found that balance that you were seeking more?


Jake Locker  43:36  

I would say that it's not a typical day, there's not like,


Elizabeth  43:40  

there is no typical day?


Jake Locker  43:42  

Yeah, it was a little bit different. But I can't say that, in Matthew tells us that, in him is yoke is easy, and His burden is light. And I think the best way for me to describe it is just painful to experience, to know what it feels like to carry an easy yoke and a light burden. Because when I'm trusting him, that's what it feels like. I don't know how it's gonna turn out. I don't know what the outcomes are going to be. And you're engaged in a lot of things that are messy, but it brings beauty to a lot of that chaos and brings purpose and understanding and this long term perspective that doesn't allow you to be tossed by the wind on a daily basis, right, because you're planted firmly in something that's lasting.


Elizabeth  44:29  

So you move back to your hometown, right? And you renovated your grandma's house and that's your family home now.


Jake Locker  44:35  

Yes, it is.


Elizabeth  44:36  

And you coach football.


Jake Locker  44:38  

I did the first five or six years that I was back and now I got my two oldest sons play a little flag football so I coach them their flag football team now. Watch my daughter. She's playing a little soccer so there's stuff going on now.


Elizabeth  44:50  

Next Gen of locker athletes. Well, thank you, Jake. For I really appreciate how open and thoughtful you've been with about your life and your perspective on all this, it's really been interesting to me. So, thanks for spending all this time with me.


Jake Locker  45:07  

No problem. Thanks for having me on and grateful for the opportunity to visit with you.


Elizabeth  45:14  

I'm so grateful to Jake for taking the time to talk with me about his journey. By the way, he ended the interview in the gym he owns which is called the locker room. Get it the locker room. Jake left me with a lot of food for thought. Here are some of my takeaways from our conversation. Number one, build relationships. Find people to get bored with make up things to do together. Be creative. These are things that forge deep lasting bonds to follow your heart. Even if it leads you away from signing a piece of paper that would earn you millions of dollars. greater rewards come with pursuing your purpose. Three, there's always another hill to climb another game to play another season to compete in. So when the winds come in life, celebrate them. For if you're new to an organization, search for mentors, if you're a veteran, be a mentor. This kind of learning and helping is how we all move forward. Five, be thoughtful about how you're spending your time, what you're chasing, and what you're putting on a pedestal. And finally, number six, everyone has special gifts. But in our society, some are spotlighted and paid more handsomely for theirs. That doesn't mean they're more worthy. A huge thanks to Jake locker for sharing his story with me. If you'd like to learn more about Jake, please go to our website. What it's like to dotnet and check out the show notes for this episode. If you'd like athlete stories, you might want to listen to episodes 35 and 36 with professional baseball player Joe biagini. And if you're into the NFL, you may want to check out Episode Six. I interviewed CBS Sports producer Ken Mac who produces NFL games each week and has also worked on several Super Bowls. If you're not already following this podcast, please do. And please tell a few friends about us too. I'm Elizabeth Pearson. Gar thanks for being curious about what it's like.